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kiwi4tiwi07
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Name: Tiwa
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Houston
Gender: Female
Interests: *FooooooD! [im such a pig. lol] *dEbaTe *fRiEnDs *cArS *mOvIeS *SHOPPING! [especially when it's not my $$] * VoLlEyBaLl *bAdMiNtOn *sUgAr-bAsEd pRoDuCtS *existensialism *fAmILy *aYn RaNd [the virtues of selfishness]*pHiLoSoPhY *bOoKs *bUrBeRrY [omg it smells sooo good] *LiLiEs *hOuStOn *mUsIc
amongst many other things
Expertise: im tiwa! im good @ *~eVeRyThInG~*! lmao. riiiiight....
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  xXicar3b3cuzXx
AIM:  KneeGrowSPlzz
MSN: krazy_kewl92
Yahoo:  kiwi4tiwi07
Member Since:
5/4/2004
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| melvin (9:31:38 PM): i feel bad for your bf
me (9:31:46 PM): why?
melvin (9:31:48 PM): i always forget how attractive you are
melvin (9:32:03 PM): and its like hmm shes going to dump him
i  melvin. he makes the world go round
me (9:26:30 PM): juile's gonna fail too
vibhuthi (9:26:30 PM): lol
vibhuthi (9:26:40 PM): watch her get a 90
me (9:28:09 PM): ill stab her
vibhuthi (9:29:41 PM): i'll hold her down
i've got the best friends like eva
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| the commencement of summer break in our beloved southern school district was disappointing. involving nothing more than several sessions of concious and subconciousness. if i dont find something to do, i fear what i might resort to for meager forms of entertainment. "the devil finds work for idle hands"
*sigh*
yet another low tide in the ocean of oppurtunity
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| lately i've several ideas forced upon me. not necessarily bad ones.
just it seems that under the pressure of all this thought that must
occur to decipher exactly what is Truth, truth, and false, has caused
me to buckle. i feel as if there's just a lot to take on right now. i
dont think that 3000 children from different backgrounds
including but not limited to age, birthplace, race, language, work
ethic, moral aptitude, etc were meant to be shoved into one building
and forced to interact in classes of 30 people for every 1 1/2 hour
session. it breeds chaos. it breeds confusion, anger, bitterness,
hatred, ostracism, elitism, narcissism, but it also encourages the
development of person as a whole. because this is an environment that
people presume we will experience in the "real world". but what i fail
to see is that who decides whether or not the sacrifices that come with
this world are worth it. because i dont think i should be taught to
hate, to deceive, or any of the other negative things that i can learn.
these people. these 3000 people all have a say on who i will become,
some more than others, whether i like it or not. and that bothers me.
that the random person who skips me in line can influence my life, by
testing my tolerance levels, my control over my anger, my acceptance of
defeat, or even my perception of their actions. i see people whose rage
spreads like cancer to others. this school is a cesspool of infection.
literally and figuratively.i come home sick almost every other week
from some child who just cant seem to learn to wash their hands after
they use the bathroom. you'd be amazed how quickly a disease can spread
in a school. ever wonder why it's always so damn cold? cold air slows
down pathogens- the things that make you sick. so the illness just
takes a little more time to reach you. im happy these things are
microscopic, or i'd be afraid to open my mouth in class for fear that
im going to catch that kids bronchitis. im being attacked on all fronts
by viruses and ideas and im tired. this is why i need a summer. because
in that time i can focus on me, instead of the homework that weakens my
immune system by forcing me to stay awake all hours of the night, or
the TOXIC food they feed us in the cafeteria that is just loaded with
saturated and trans fats that are just waiting to clog my beating
heart. and to top it off i'm black! death comes a knockin every time i
enter that cafeteria and comsume that noxious poison. and there's
nothing that i can really do to change that. im dying. i accept that.
we're all dying. from the very moment your daddy's sperm preforated
your mommy's egg cell, you began to die. we just categorize those
different changes and call them "life" in order to provide you with
some sort of cheer. but in reality- you're drying. every skin cell you
shed, every piece of hair that falls out only proves it. so why should
i be forced to spend 12 years. 12 years of my life being infected and
affected by people who i won't even know in five years? i guess my
pessimism stems from the fact that i look at this AP book and think, in
4 years this wont matter. in 2 years this wont matter. but im still
taxing my heart and my brain with the stress of cramming it in. it's
disgusting. but i guess that's life isn't it?
do you realize, that everyone you know someday will die?
how morbid....
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| - Believe Me Natalie
hehe
whoops
i keep on forgetting how many online community thingamawhoozies that i
am a member of. *shrug* sowwiez. and it's not as if anyone is deeply
infatuated with the garbarge that spews forth from my mind, through my
fingertips, and onto this page. so i dont feel a deep urge to return
and bare my emotions out to a non-existant audience. but then again,
wouldn't that make anything that i needed to say all the more
meaningless if i did? because i wouldn't be writing to make myself feel
better, i would be writing for the world. creating a window into my
very being for all to see. and continuing only as long as my audience
remained captivated. i would be a sell out. so i suppose that it is
within this setting, when nobody's listening, that the true test of
this xanga is taken. is this for myself or for others? well i say BRING
IT. 
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| - I Write Sins not Tradgedies
it's ok that im becoming scared...
right?
because now that i think about what i have done so far, and what i have
left to do. im scared. taking the SAT was probably one of the scariest
things i have ever done. not so much because i was afriaid that i would
do poorly -that was inevitable- more because i realized that at that
moment, as i was sitting in that test room, staring blankly at the
paper that probably would have made more sense in french, i realized
that it was a monumental moment in my life. this test would help to
determine whether or not i would be sent to Cornell [ ] or HBU [ ]
and that scared me. that i was making these choices, these decisions,
[for lack of a better term] that could alter my life considerably. and
that unnerves me.
so i've decided to provoke the situation even more, by taking my ACTs
in april and applying for advance internship. *sigh* ill explain the
importance of this later
right now i REALLY need to sleep
the seasons have changed and my allergies have gone bonkers 
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